Mr Brightside
by 8mylifebelike13
Summary: It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss. *Not a sonfic*
1. Part I

**Roxas breathed. In and out, in and out**_**. Focus on that, nothing else matters. Especially not them. Especially not him**_. Roxas was trying to gently remind himself of this over and over again. The sound of moaning distracted him. _His_ moan. She probably had her hands around _him_ making _him_ call out her name. _It should be me! Why isn't it me?_

Roxas tried calming himself without bursting into sobs_. Why? Out of all the men in Twilight Town, why my best friend? Why __**Axel**__? _

It was a well choreographed dance that had been practiced many times. Whenever Axel and him were at Roxas' place, his sister would either a) get Axel alone with her or b) get Roxas out somehow. Roxas would pretend not to know and show no emotion when hearing the obvious moans coming from the next room. Axel would go along with it, but why Roxas had no clue. Axel hated Larxene.

He remembered how this whole thing had started…

_Axel and Roxas were hanging out at Roxas' place. The two friends were sitting close together on the couch; Axel with his arm on Roxas' shoulders and Roxas leaning into his best friends warmth. Normal friend stuff, right?_

_They were laughing at something on TV when Larxene had stormed in, obviously pissed. "Son of a bitch!" she practically screeched at the top of her lungs. Roxas had winced. _

_Axel, however, was unfazed by this, "Someone's PMS-ing," he had almost sang in an annoyingly taunting voice, without bothering to remove his gaze from the television._

_Larxene's eyes narrowed; always a bad sign. "Shut it, pyro," she retorted, putting a cigarette in her mouth._

_Axel calmly leaned forward and took it out of her mouth, "Not in front of Roxy , darling." he said calmly smashing it in the ash tray. _

_Roxas scowled at Axel's over-protectiveness, but secretly appreciated it. He was sometimes scared of his older sister when she got mad like this. She could be quite a sadistic bitch when she wanted to be. He unconsciously leaned closer into Axel for protection. Axel's arm wrapped tighter around him. _

_Larxene scoffed at the sight, "Fags," she muttered loud enough for them to hear._

_Roxas felt Axel stiffen. He was careful not to show any emotion on his face when Axel pushed him away. "I'm not a fag Larxene. Rox and I are best friends and have been for years now. I do believe that gives us friendly couch-cuddling rights without being called gay," Axel had a thing about being called gay. Roxas new his parents could be a bit narrow minded about things like that and that Axel had grown up thinking that way. Still, that didn't make the fact that Axel coldly pushed him away any better…_

_She bent down so she was face to face with him, "Prove it," she breathed._

_Axel rolled his eyes, "Prove what exactly?" he was trying to look past her at the TV._

_She leaned in closer, too close for Roxas' comfort, "Prove you don't like my brother, you little fag," she smirked when that got Axel's attention._

_Axel growled in anger before grabbing her behind the neck, forcing her forward and kissing her roughly. _

_Roxas could see the smirk of triumph in his sister's face. He simply stood up and left the apartment, as he always did when she had company over. It was automatic. _

_About halfway down the stares he swore, loudly. He realized it was Axel she was with, not just some nameless one night stand. He couldn't go over to Axel's apartment, like he usually did when shit like this happened (Axel had warned him never to go there by himself if he knew Axel wasn't there. Apparently his roommate was a flirt who had a knack of tempting innocent guys-"Like you Roxas"- into doing sexual acts. "Just looking out for your virtue, Rox," Axel had told him). _

_He sighed as he turned to walk back up to the apartment. He had no where else to go. _

_When Roxas got up there, he heard moans coming from inside the room. He bit his lip hard just to keep from screaming out loud. _

"_Axel."_

So here they were now. Axel never really let Roxas get close to him ever again (Roxas simply gave up trying). Larxene had this smug look on her face whenever she saw either Axel or Roxas (when she looked at Axel, it said, "You're mine." When she looked at Roxas, it said, "I win."). And Roxas was slowly getting more and more depressed every time they were together.

Roxas always looked for excuses not to go to his house and hang out when he knew Larxene would be there. Axel, at the same time, looked for excuses to go to his house. After a while, Roxas simply gave up at this as well. If they wanted to do it, fine.

Soon, they didn't care that Roxas was in the apartment, as it was a hassle to get him out all the time on tedious errands. When Roxas went to the bathroom, a quickie in her room. When Roxas went to his room, Axel'd go down on her (Larxene did nothing to hide her smug screams). Hell, when Roxas went to get a glass of water from the kitchen, they'd do it on the fucking couch.

Roxas had taken to avoiding his sister and his best friend whenever possible. This had been working for a week before Axel finally confronted him.

"Roxas!" he had called. Roxas pretended not to have heard him and kept walking on. Axel caught up easily, "Roxy, what's wrong?"

Roxas felt happiness flood him when he heard Axel speak to him. He knew he had always had this feeling whenever he was around Axel, but he had just come to realize it. But what came with this feeling of elation, was a feeling of what couldn't be. That was enough to make Roxas feel betrayed and hurt.

"I'm fine," he snarled childishly.

"Bullshit," was Axel's calm retort, "you're avoiding me, Roxy."

That got to Roxas. _How can he think everything's normal? After he and my sister… _Roxas felt furious at Axel, "Don't call me that," he hissed, turning and starting to walk away from the redhead.

"Roxas," Axel grabbed Roxas' arm and dragged him into a nearby alley. He then pushed Roxas up against a wall. Roxas struggled hard both physically to get away from Axel, who had now trapped him between his arms, and mentally to not think about all the fantasies he had of Axel being dominant like this in an alleyway. There were quite a few…

"G-Get away from me." Roxas cursed himself upon hearing himself stutter.

Axel smirked. This simply pissed off Roxas even more.

"Seriously, back off!" he pushed Axel. Roxas had to use every ounce of self-control he had not to think of the abs he undoubtedly felt beneath the fabric of Axel's shirt. He struggled not to think about Axel, shirtless, moaning Roxas' name, his back arching as Roxas rode him…

He didn't have that much self control.

Axel stumbled back slightly, but before Roxas could so much as move, Axel had him pinned against the wall again, now even closer to Roxas than before. Roxas had to move his face and close his eyes to escape the intensity of those sharp, green eyes.

"Roxas," he heard Axel mutter softly, "come on, please tell me what's wrong."

Roxas' eyes snapped open on that. Axel was begging. He never begs. He had always said he "would never allow my dignity to drop for any petty thing". Roxas allowed his head to be turned by Axel, but still refused to look him in the eyes.

"Roxas…" Roxas could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He had to look up, to make sure that the anguish in that voice was real. He shyly, almost awkwardly, looked up into Axel's stunningly piercing eyes.

"I…" Roxas was overwhelmed by the smell of Axel that suddenly invaded him. _Spicy, cinnamon, just a hint of Axe…_

"Come on Roxas, please?" _Oh God, his voice…._

_Shit, shit, shit, shit-_

"I'm dying Rox," _shit, shit, shit, _"Please, I miss my best friend…I miss you." _**Shit.**_

Roxas kissed him.

He just needed a taste. Just one feel of that mouth on his. He was so curious to know if it was as exotic as the rest of him. He needed to know if it was as great as Larxene had bragged about to her friends. It was nothing like that.

It was better.

Axel's gasp of surprise brought him down to earth. He pulled back quickly and looked into those gorgeous green eyes now laced with confusion and surprise.

"Shit," he whispered, "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" Roxas was close to yelling now. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to profess his undying love. He didn't want his heart to break.

Axel refused to look him in the eyes. "Rox, I-" Roxas didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear the rejection that was soon to come from the redhead's lips.

He ran. Axel didn't call him back either.

Roxas' vision started to get blurry. He supposed it was from the tears that invaded his eyes. He didn't know. He didn't care. He was vaguely aware that he left his backpack in the alleyway with…Axel.

Axel. _That hair. That smile. His eyes…_

Roxas somehow ended up in a park close to his apartment complex.

_His voice. His warmth. His lips…_

What have I done?


	2. Part II

**TO EVERYONE WHO STILL BOTHERS TO WATCH THIS/READ IT: I LOVE YOU MORE THAN CUPCAKES. YES.**

**Okay, serious: I'm so sorry for the wait :( you have no idea. This writer's block made me scared for a few days (months) that I would never finish this. **

**I love you guys. I really do. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have bothered with this. OTL!!!!**

**___________**

Axel knows this isn't right. He knows the body pressing against him feels wrong. He knows that the sharp, green eyes looking at him with lust and dominance isn't right. He is aware that his _best friend_ is in the _next fucking room_ and can probably hear everything going on. He knows this...and he doesn't stop it.

There are so many thoughts going through his head. The wrongness of all this versus the aproval of his mom and dad; the small feeling of betrayal he felt whenever this act took place. A thought that always seemed to come back, that always haunted his mind: Roxas.

_How could you do this to him? _How could he do what, exactly? It wasn't like him and Axel were...were _together_, or anything. Sure, Axel was happy whenever he saw the blonde boy. He worried for his best friend when sadness entered his bright blue eyes, but that was because they were friends, right? Just...just close friends...right?

As Roxas' sister, Larxene, moaned in a loud voice, making Axel cringe, Axel thought about how this this fucking mess happened.

One minuet just hanging out with Roxas at his sister's place as they usually do; on the couch watching whatever was on the TV, when Larxene came in. Axel had been aware that Roxas was a little afraid of his sister, though he tried to act brave in front of Axel, so Axel just wrapped a tight arm around Roxas, which Roxas welcomed gladely...

Larxene making a remark about his sexual prefences...

Suddenly he's kissing Larxene...

Roxas is no where to be found...

He's halfway to having sex with a girl he's hated since he first met her.

_Roxas was moving into the small apartment with his sister. His parents told him it was to get "more expirience with the real world", but Roxas wasn't stupid. He told Axel they just wanted him out of the house a year early. Roxas had asked Axel for some assistance, but Axel knew that Roxas didn't want to be alone. _

"_Ax, get off your butt, and help me with some of these boxes." Roxas grinned despite his words, dropping a box labeled _books_ on top of the thin, redhead's lap. _

_Axel laughed standing up with the box of over twenty books. "Jesus, Roxy. How many damn books do you have?"_

"_As many as it takes to skip a grade and keep you from failing junior year again."_

_Axel laughed at the comment, feeling the familiar pit of guilt settle in his stomach. He never had realized what trouble Roxas went through with all his studying and helping Axel with almost all his classes, until he caught the blonde sleeping at his desk after helping Axel study for midterms._

_Noticing Roxas struggling with his box, Axel quickly put his down, rushing to his friend and grabbing a side. "Careful, Roxas." He mummered. Axel's fingers grazed Roxas', causing them both to nearly fumble the box. "Sorry," they both said at the same time, glancing at each other...then of course glancing away, both blushing. _

"_Isn't that just fucking adorable?" The two turned, seeing a blonde girl, with hard green eyes looking at them. Her short blonde hair was slicked back and two almost antenna like locks of hair were on the top of her head. A scowl was on her face as she approached them. "Hey brat," was the greeting she gave Roxas, her eyes on Axel the entire time. _

_Axel stared back, looking her over. Sure she was pretty hot, long legs, thin body...but... he glanced at Roxas. Roxas' bright blue eyes were looking down; he looked awkward staring down at his shoes, like he just wanted to disappear. Axel blinked. Roxas looked a little...scared._

"_Axel," he said quietly, voice small, "this is my sister, Larxene."_

"_Pleasure." Larxene came over with a sharp grin, practically purring as she offered a hand to Axel._

_Axel looked at Larxene's hand. "Excuse me," he said cooly, "I'm helping Roxas with his stuff." He looked at Roxas, smiling a little, "Come on, Roxy."_

_Roxas looked up at him. Axel saw his face grow into a soft smile, "Yeah," he said, keeping his eyes on Axel._

_Axel didn't miss the glances Larxene gave both of them. She turned on her heel, muttering something under her breath. Something that had Axel frozen on the spot for a few moments. Something that sounded suspiciously like 'faggot'..._

After that, Axel knew that he hated Larxene.

And that he never wanted Roxas to be alone with her for a long time, as long as he could help it.

Eventually his parents found out he was spending so much time with his best friend...and they grew suspicious. Suspicious of _what_ was what confused Axel the most, though. Sure, hints would be dropped (_"Oh...spending time with that boy, huh?", _or_ "Remember that girl you used to hang around? Selphie?")_, but, still, Axel never got what his parents wanted from him: a girlfriend. Or at least the assurance that he was interested in a girlfriend...until he told them about Larxene.

He went to his dad first, hoping for some advice about getting a girl to pay _less_ attention to him. His dad's reaction had been less then helpful.

"Finally got a girl, eh?" His dad clapping him on the back, "Your mom got worried there for a while, but I always assured her, 'Axel's just waiting for a good girl, Sarah, you just wait.' and I was right! What's she like?"

His mom was worse. "A girlfriend! Oh, honey, I'm so happy for you! Who is she? We have to get her over here, maybe some dinner..."

Axel, taken aback from all this barely replied with, "She's Roxas' older sister."

His mom's smile got even bigger, "Ohhhh. That's why you spent so much time at his place? That's a relief. You just wanted an excuse to talk to his _sister._" Apperently the fact that Roxas was helping him pass the eleventh grade was forgotten.

After that, everything clicked. His parents thought he was _gay._ His own _parents_.

At first he was mad. Furious even. He wanted nothing to do with Larxene or his parents and just live his life. Then the proud moments came. Moments when his mom would hug him even tighter, or when his dad would give him a small wink. These fucking corny moments that you only see in the movies or read about or just dream of. And Axel couldn't get enough of them. He figured they were worth it, all he had to was hang with Larxene more, it wouldn't be too bad right?

Turns out Larxene has had this big-ass crush on Axel since she first saw him. She wanted him, badly. He never had actual _sex_ with her, but she wanted it.

"Larxene." She didn't stop, but her fast moving lips traveled down to his neck, "_Larxene._ Stop."

"What?" She glanced up, looking annoyed at being interrupted.

"Roxas is in the _other fucking room_," he hissed, glaring at her. Axel felt bad enough whenever Larxene kicked Roxas out of the apartment so she could have her way with him.

"So?" she purred, going back to what she was doing.

"But-"

"Look, stop being such a _queer_ and just go with it."

Axel froze at the words, "I'm not a fucking fag, Larxene." he growled, getting even more mad at her smug expression.

"So prove it," she whispered against his lips, moving in for another harsh kiss.

Axel thought he herd someone crying in the next room.

___________

Roxas began to avoid him as much as possible. He would find excuses to escape to the library; he'd hang around the school until he was certain Axel had left...and so on. Of course Axel noticed. His grades began to slip a little with worry.

In the back of his mind, he knew that it was his relationship with Larxene that was doing this to Roxas, but he tried to ignore it...until that time Roxas kissed him.

Axel had waited around after school until Rxoas came around, backpack in hand. His head was down and there was sadness in his eyes. Axel made his move

"Roxas!" Axel called out. When Roxas kept walking on, a little faster than before, Axel easily caught up, "Roxy, what's wrong?"

Roxas kept his eyes to the ground, and Axel saw him blink rapidly, "I'm fine," he hissed harshly.

Axel almost laughed, "Bullshit. You're avoiding me Roxy." his green eyes narrowed down at the blonde.

Roxas looked up at him quickly. Axel saw the anger and hurt in those blue eyes, "Don't call me that." He snarled before turning quickly, trying to get away from Axel.

"Roxas," he grabbed his best friend's arm pulling him into an alleyway. As he looked down at Roxas, he noticed his eyes had gone back to staring down at the ground and, to Axel's surprise, a small blush on his cheeks.

"G-Get away from me." Axel smirked at the small stutter in his friend's voice. He saw Roxas' face get flushed, "Seriously, back off!" He yelled, surprising Axel as he pushed him back.

But Axel quickly pushed him back against the alley wall. A gentle thud was heard as Roxas' backpack hit the ground. Roxas not only avoided his gaze, but had his eyes closed tightly.

Axel moved his head closer, "Roxas," he mermmured softly, trying to get his friend's eyes to just open, just a little bit... "come on, tell me what's wrong." He did it, he begged. He saw Roxas' eyes fly open at that, but still didn't look at him. _He smells like vanilla_... Axel noted. Axel used his thumb and forefinger to make Roxas face him, but the blonde still didn't look him in the eye.

Axel felt really hurt at this point. All he wanted was his best friend to just _look _at him. "Roxas..."

Roxas' blue eyes slowly looked into Axel's. He swallowed, "I..." he trailed off. Axel could've sworn Roxas gazed at his lips...

Axel continued, licking his lips a little, "C'mon Roxas, please? I'm dying, Rox." He let out all of his worry and sadness in his voice, "Please, I miss my best friend...I miss _you_."

Roxas kissed him.

Axel's eyes got wide. Roxas. _Roxas. Roxas was kissing him._ Axel didn't know what to do; he was scared to keep up the kiss, but he was even more scared to push away his best friend.

He couldn't help the surprised gasp that came out of his mouth. Roxas immeadiatly let go, his eyes surprised and hurt and sad and holy shit, he was about to cry wasn't he. "Shit," Roxas barely swore. _Oh, God, please don't cry...please, Roxas don't cry, _"Shit, shit, shit, shit, _Shit!_" He yelled, his voice almost screaming.

Axel couldn't look at him anymore, "Roxas...I..." he didn't know what else to say.

Roxas ran away; Axel didn't stop him.

_Why didn't I see this before?_ He turned, leaning his back against the wall, slowly sinking to the dirty ground. Running a hand through his red hair, he groaned loudly, "God_damn it!" _Why didn't he see it before? It was so _fucking _obvious.

_Roxas looking at him a little too long, and blushing when he was caught..._

_Roxas jerking away when Axel would touch him, face turning red, and avoiding the red head's gaze..._

_The hurt from Roxas' eyes whenever Axel said he wanted to hang out at the apartment when Larxene was there..._

_Roxas'...kiss..._

Axel buried his head into his arms; his eyes were closed and a few tears slipped out.

"What have I done?"


End file.
